Feb 14

Track 27

Ley lines, did you see a stop sign,
             When we jumped the fence?
Ley lines, you remember the cars
              Of December Twelfth?
Ley lines, your green eyes were windy,
              Twisting turning round,
Ley lines of love and confusion,
              Covered in the moss.

In a forest, a fool, across
              Wooden bridges you walk.
You move backwards in sweeping steps,
              Looking at my you.
Your one who moves when you move, I’m
              The one who you move.
You’re the one who moves when you move,
              I’m the one you move.
When you touched my elbow I was
              Winter in the trees

Leslie, like a fool I’m in love with         
              Walking in the rain.
Maybe I’ll see a forest through
              The trees, I’m in love with
Leslie, like a fool who moves when you
              Move me like you do.
I'm in love with Leslie-Like-A-Fool.

Feb 14

Valentine of somewhere
Saturnine in mind wear

Blind in anew
Filigree of words

Sintering
As if magic could
Make solid desire
From unreal machines
Of the past love goodbyes

Dreaming about your emails
Dreaming I was asleep on the s curved
Airport
Turquoise couch by gate 25

Zombie walks drifting in baggage claim
As the blue social umpire races
By faces in a similarly blue electric
Scooter of authority

Dreaming about wherever you are
What the temperature of the air feels like
Where your huddled nose prevails perhaps
Through the midnight sleep peeking

This place is of no sleep
Of no sleep for the travellers

Under the moon night
Hidden hearts in moon light

Maybe I'll see you on Track 27
Maybe I'll see you in the San Diego rain
Maybe you'll fall in love
And never fall in love again

Emotion is the source of your strength
I wish some day to see it pour from you
And feed this world
With your vulnerability neurons
The ones in your chest
We look to the sky
The night watches
The night recedes to Valentine
Morning
The moon low in the Southern sky

Feb 13

She has ever always held my eyes with swaying
Limbs that angle like a corner park

Not my Valentine, eyed radiant greens are inside
my mind, singing a birdsong.

Not my Valentine.

There are curves to her wits that take my Thursday away,
Not my Valentine.

This, why, ten times I thought, unsure,
unspoken, no questions,
Not my Valentine.

I will dream alone again forever
in higher goodbyes
glitches of kindness
a remainder.
unloved, sad, oh, look at my sad face.
sad, oh, so sad. look at my sad distance.
so sad. She laughs, and my sadness is gone.
Absurd sadness transformed.

But in distance I grow,
desires unforeseeable present the keys:
a day beyond me it will always be,
she will always be penultimate Valentine.

I'm Wednesday, you're Thursday, probably already have a Thursday,
and Wednesday doesn't do it for you anyway, I'm not even Wednesday,
I'm Tuesday, Tuesday morning at best...
and these are raindrops on the needle of a cactus,
only so deep as
Marks of ink.
Looking for ley lines,
random meanings that say Leslie,
like how could this rain, this random rain,
how could that drop mean You?
Wednesday loves Thursday, it thinks....
In unthinking.
But one can never be
if the other is,
always their present moments
only cross at a midnight,
and then a second apart,
always a second apart,
never the same day.
Would another Thursday make you smile?
I once looked at you, twice, you
smiled, that smile that looks like love
and it was enough. I remember when
I used to get looked at like that.

Like someone loved me.

I can't ask, because I can't and I can't,
I'm not sure if that is what was in your green eyes,
those windows twisted by wind, I'm not sure
if that was your smile, only the happiness I felt
can I know, I can only know my
love and confusion.
Not my Valentine.
Penultimate Valentine.

I felt twice then alive, it's painful
to remember what its like,
to remember love and know
its not in your life.
It's like Wednesday loving Thursday
and that passing second of midnight.

Feb 13

I am shattered at the loss
    Of you
  in my life
But I hope it looked better
Than that
That it just looked like
Any other good bye

There by the cars
You called me buddy

The kind you forget
Or have already
Forgotten
Like the brittle grass
And flowers
You'll throw away in the morning

I didn't know what to say
Terrified of the moment
    of you
Going away 
I lay here
   a quiet single bird
Sings to the morning din
The sun rises, light mixes with 
Everything
        with endings. 

Devastated because of you and
The first morning in this nothing.
Then the days wind
Into October
Overcome by tears, that this day
Will become the years without you. 

Pain moves through me in waves, 
Flood sometimes
The beach when the tsunami hits
Dragged to a drowning 

This day will become the years without you. 
Shattered, in love, heart broken blue.
Lost in a memory.

I become driftwood forgetting,
At sea a season lost
To fog. The mist turns to rain,
I can taste the salt, my eyes closed
At midday, your shapeless presence
Before me in that dark pink void.
The joy returns in thoughts
Of you, Leslie. 

Feb 13

A ceiling of darkness weighs
Upon my morning breath, the light
Reflecting in my mourning eyes,
Every cell drained in depressions
Arms lifeless as stone
Sickness at my throat, still completely broken and my observations are just beginning, the fetid heart bleeds,
Love is distant - a great distance from~
So close at times, two feet and focused
Conversation on the business of the day,
So close you are, I can see the light
Reflecting off your inner eye
Ascending and descending the universe's
Of your beautiful self
The lines of the blue fabric,
A soft surface to your voice, you give
Away your soul for a short second, 
A formal goodbye,
And then our separate lives move on
Meeting over

Everything kept in its way as
A ceiling of darkness descends 
Love held in check, unspoken,
Without you
Every hour-
Every second - 
Without you

Feb 13

If I could turn time on its head
And walk back through the failures
Passion and blindness broke
I'd make all the same made mistakes
I identified with softer words
I'd do everything again
In a simple way, for that only reason
I have, nothing comes out straight
And I got to I love you and left
With all the remnants of a forgotten
Mark

Always fall in love.

Feb 13

I who fade in all this crayon versioning,
I once fell in love once in love i felt.
Felted wool and other accessories.
A shock I can never forget stirring.
I am all fading creations, designed
To scream and melt at the first sign of love,
My fate to be a lesser form of art.
My love does not love me, that however
Is not a thing, I would never ask for
Impossibility or attraction,
Phenomenons of life forever not
Seen or heard by me, and if ever were
Then not believed when there's ten feet to kill
And deceive, words to be as ugly as
A mirror of a creature, a nothing.
I am nothingness, I in my being.
All loneliness and self-hatred, crawl skin
And pain tears till I'm waterless, drying
Up like a rodent dying naturally
From inside. What is the name of that love?

Born-Into-Fading-Creations, watching
the lonely look upon a cold winter
morning light, fog covering the city's 
heights, a fog between him, fading life, and
The-Woman-In-The-Middle-Of-The-Sky.
She sees the sun before anyone, she
is at the beautiful center, in the 
reflection of the sunrise, centered
within a sublime imagination, 
Fading-Creations reverts to earth life.

She-you will find a feather today, wax 
To the touch, either a pigeon who was eaten
Or fair Icarus, melted and drowning
Out in that harbor of misery, either way
When She-you sees that feather, wet
and tossed to the side, worn
no more, think of It-me,
fading beneath the fog,
designing these creations.
But let that thought be fleeting,
At least as much as these sweet worthless
Nothings that never should have been.
Let all these words fade, for She-you
never asked for them, and It-me
knows they've never amounted to anything.

Feb 13

The Truth Is
Something to beholden, a small buffalo you have given
Me.
I lay underneath that thing. To you.
You touched my elbow and an electric shock went through my body
it was to get my attention and then it did
a moment I can't get out of, its been with me since
All I ever do is think about you
I'm so far gone, every second without you is painful
Everything cries, every ounce of my body
Waterless now
I love you, endlessly
I love you, alone with this
The only moments of this life that remain beautiful
are the hours and days or seconds
with just a glance
and yes, that pain on my face
that misery, is missing you
the unbearable state of missing you
I am completely broken, the weight
Settles in my chest, I can't believe
Missing someone I've never even
Had the chance to say I love you to
Could be this unreal
From where comes this
Maybe it's not love
An attachment disorder maybe
A lonely life maybe
Maybe I'm unfamiliar with such beauty
As you,  you are so beautiful.
This is the sadness on my face
The outward reflection of an inward
Space where I'm lost in love
Unable to speak up
Sad because I love you and keep it
Sad because I'm me

Feb 12

Ley lines are lifted out of my eyes upon
the horizon, stop signs and parked cars,
meaningful leaves, and the endless grey sky,
violet at its constant edgeless. Last year
we were this time in snow
covered morning in Valentine's
Week, and now the rain upon sand
Covered bough, I hold up. The driftwood
this morning, where was it yesterday?
What does it have to say
of its journey to this day?
Dry, and lighter for the passage.

At the sea, the snakes made a bed to see.
To make the river they would ride to see,
ride as a creek, emerging
the termites eat to see.
To seasons all passing in driftwood seen.
This is the scene at a quiet sea.

I was that darkness in the unlit beach,
Not illuminated by the sunless morning,
missing the vitamins or a warm gaze,
where was your body in the scene setting,
where was your shift, where was your eye,
the angle of your arm, the direction of patterns
and flowers embroidered?
Somewhere smiling I hope, looking away
in thought as you do, your voice quiet
and then in leading vowel before it
spills some carefully selected phrase.
But that's my mind lost in yesteryear,
distortions of a growing yesterday,
imaginations to hope I was more
than mere acquaintance, slightly
sighted but best forgotten.
A light being made known, delight
sighted, became a modest affront.
Affection offended, as is.
Is memory held in the mind,
or do the neurons of a heart
ask a question each morning?

From where comes this heat?

Feb 11

Let us now say love comes to us, let us.
We will be of the marrow, of healing.
What does love do that it falls all over
You and dissipates down the fibers of
Whatever it is that is covering
That beast walking through your chest, making all
Things beautiful, looking around for cavities
To fill with desire, eternal moments of a second
Or two, the one's to live for, the one's to recall
At the end of time, the one's to look back on
And say, I was alive. What does that love do?
Love does you, it clears you out, and comes
through your skin. Look at yourself,
envelope of love with a window.

Feb 11

I'm terrified
Of the memory of the moment
Of the last time
Of the last moment
Of the vision
The fire doe 

When from there the Vision
Is no more in my living experience 
And fades each day 
The cruelty of you
Using and fading when
I'm needed no more
If I could give you advice
It would be to speak the truth
And be plain in it
The fire doe 

Feb 11

When time is slower
And memories fade
Not reminded the brain lets
Things go
                only the good remains
Tendons connect
                  but sad
Thoughts bathe
in good remains
Leslie's speaker lost in
              melodies, memoirs written
As the speaker rotates

Sounds come fast away
Then to the face then one
Ear then far fast away again

Then to sway then to the ear
Then to fade, I fade to then
And hope time slows and desire
Decays I hope I hope I quit
Thinking of your face which only
Highlights heartbreaking loneliness

Let love be it is desire's suffering
That holds me, in which I
Dissipate as the speaker rotates

Sounds a Siren singing in memories
Of the drowning sea,
Memories to a drowning me.

Feb 10

The years come after me and I follow
them into
the years that follow
next upon the ages is the stage made
of pure life

Light upon the skin in the
Energy making heat and moisture in layers
Soft within all your
      soft withins and thermal heat seen
      all your distribution systems
      a switch getting constantly flipped
      all your arching shipwrecks...   A
Light
Is
Eternal

I imagine foam parting
as you crest.
I imagine sandy points
and clear refractions across
your summer skin, an afternoon
skin in this illusion. You disappear
by the oyster shells, your hair laying
back upon settled green and green
grasses, everlasting sky
and silence except for a quiet wave,
and the earth. Then I imagine
watching you rise.
She-Emerges-In-Eel-Grass.

Feb 10

My stumbling rolls forth
In this constant nonsense
This endless fool charade
My unspoken love parade
And now I try to count to eight
To sleight off observes
And dance before that gelatin softness
At the lower edge of your eye

To my left, puzzles to confuse
Those that consider that last part when
My stumbling rolls forth
In this constant nonsense
This endless fool charade
An unspoken love parade
On the day that I noticed you
When you touched my left elbow
The one that was closest to your
Eye and it was my eye then caught

Upon that electric shock from your
Touch. I found my elbow cured
And salted mansion enhanced,
You have that candy giving squirrel
And I know life left the truth
On you, the heaviness of a perfect
Bleak shadow, of a conveyance,
You wear it all so well

Beautiful, beautiful eyes a veil
You do that number well, its my end.
My stumbling rolls forth
In this constant nonsense at the end
All directions changed just end
Excuses to be near you again
I knew one day it would end
all those fears of such end
came to pass and I live now in them
a fool in love to the end.

This endless fool charade
That dance I do, the simple stand,
A nervous smile, or leaning hesitation,
An anxious twist in a love parade.
I  can't sleep because you exist
And merely I know there may be
A vision. You were a vision every Monday.
And that's what's hidden underneath
Leslie in numbers and scrambled phrases of
Surrealistic shifted word games.

The world fades in word vaporization,
Vipers in distinguished disintegration,
They hold themselves to their expectation, 
Left of nowhere, no amelioration.
Leslie your eyes looked down
As the sunlight bathed your crown, 
It's a memory at the center
Of my drowning. Drowning down in. 
The endless fool charade. Shunned.

Feb 9

Made again are
Doubles and steals
Spring training
And the joy of keeping score

You seem to say two
Things always in the best
Way to make me smile
As if you capture my deep
Held unexpressed thought
That which was hidden
But hidden only to me

My own thinking from myself
A stance my brain tracked
Your batting glance
It was there illustrated

Yes in the early hours of another lost day
Dream there was only a thought
Of you but it was draped
driving in storms

No way to be sure
Nothing more than urges slouching
Towards courage
And I was in that space
Where I dream of your
Body before me in movement

I imagined the angles of your arms
In a stage of passion
I hallucinated the softness
Of a wordless expression
From your throat

You can winter alone or make
Another choice
I can
Keep you warm,
I can
Tell you a feeling, that never fades,
                               an anchor for
While you soar and dream,
In your unfinished and beautiful
Constant becoming.

Feb 8

Is transferring
I see love
And see it fade
All love fades when born
Of chance meeting
If it seemed to be in any way
My way directed
I see it's end
I see it clear in my head
and know
Everytime everyone
Love faded
And eyes close
Eyes close
You always will break
My heart so why not now
Why not
know now
know the moment
In her eyes for me
Why pursue when all love dies
If only I was dramatic enough
Just going by tends and trends
Love comes at me like armies
And snow drifting into an
Abandoned temple
Of a forgotten religion
With pink sections
All in a row
They sell for three these days
Dollars comes with despair
Triggering loss
Can I experience love without fear?

Feb 8

A sheer forest of limelight
And still water beneath
The rhythm of your blinking,

Of slowing down patterns
Of possessions, no things
But imaginary rathers and pools
That do not exist, what is
That hand in the matter
And what about revolutions
Of scattered diasasters?

Everyday I look for a way to see you again,
Mine is the simplest problem to understand. And yet
I cannot look, for too long, it gives away everything, embedding
A sadness because you will not hear
Because I will not speak, I don't know how, 
I've never even asked, the cause? In fear?

Yes, yes, yes, of the pain, the same stammer,
No, its just that I haven't and that technology
Of engagement upon which the worlds pairs off

and then makes its way? That's not me, but I do believe
these things exist inside my body
which reduce me to Winter's ash,
that which is left after the cold burning.

It's my escape, the forest green, the
Phthalo viridian with a hint of 

pain's grey,
Illuminated from beneath by sun
light through the winter window, for we are 

both at that

Age,

the one I wear also, being one
In the psalm skin melody head playing
I hear
      when my eyes drift across your face.
Its the one where I arrived last after 
Every verse with an already broken heart.
A troubled, fetid heart,
preserved in salt.
You have that taste of blood upon you, I'm sure of it.

Feb 8

Now here's a fool walking through a forest of wooden bridges,
And your green eyes looking backwards, across a backwards step,
backwards across a wooden bridge, you sweep the forest floor
when you move, you're one who moves when you move.
Covered in the moss of love and confusion,
You're all the moving distractions, all the moving reactions.
You're one who moves when you move,
You're the one who moves when you move.
I'm not watching you so much as breathing,
I'm not breathing so much as drifting under the Universe of you.
You touched my left elbow when I was winter in the trees,
An electric shock went to my snake brain, an interview.
Ley Lines did you see a stop sign when we jumped the fence?
Do you remember the stars of December twelfth?
Your green eyes turned into windy twisting spirals
Of love and confusion looking at winter upon this tree.